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erin*

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realization. [May. 25th, 2011|06:22 am]
erin*
[Current Music |grass widow: to where]

i am exhausted from trying to get this prospectus finished. and today i am going in for CT scan of my lungs, the 3rd one in a little over a year. i'm hoping that my lungs show improvement - i've been on prednisone for a little over 3 months now, and am feeling much, much better.

but today i was reading someone's blog about sarcoidosis, and how it's really hard to deal with a diagnosis that could be chronic. i've had two of those in the last year. two.

and, like the person who was blogging about this, i have gone through all the emotional wildness associated with diagnoses like this. i've been angry, depressed, hopeless...and also very grateful for amazing friends and family who have been there to support me and hug me and just let me cry. because i have cried. a lot.

i've had a really hard time with people who have only told me that i shouldn't freak out because i'm doing everything i can, and that's all i can do. but i don't want to talk about them.

so today i'm going for this scan. if it's good, great. if not, i'll probably have to have a pretty major biopsy of my right lung in the next couple of months. if you have any good wishes, happy energy, or prayers to spare, i sure would appreciate them.


xo
e*
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: sacredchao23
2011-05-25 01:35 pm (UTC)
All I can say is that Erika and I love you. We owe you five thousand phone calls.
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[User Picture]From: tendertalons
2011-05-25 01:41 pm (UTC)
i owe you AT LEAST twice that!!
i miss you so much, jude & erika.
xoxox
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From: sarah_arrrr
2011-05-25 03:48 pm (UTC)
Thinking of you and sending lots of good thoughts to you, lady. Miss you!

xoxo
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[User Picture]From: tendertalons
2011-08-01 09:47 pm (UTC)
*mwoi!*
miss you back!
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[User Picture]From: xreddan
2011-05-25 04:51 pm (UTC)
Positive energy coming your way from Texas!
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[User Picture]From: tendertalons
2011-08-01 09:48 pm (UTC)
WE NEED THAT TELECONFERENCE!! <3
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[User Picture]From: onepercolated
2011-05-25 09:56 pm (UTC)
sending prayers. and i understand about people saying weird, irrelevant, insensitive shit when you tell them about health issues. it happens to my mom all the time.
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[User Picture]From: tendertalons
2011-08-01 09:48 pm (UTC)
thanks, lady. it is a real bitch to have to act like those comments help. i hope you're doing well. i sure do miss seeing you. sending your mama lots of good vibes from down here. xo
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[User Picture]From: bitchy_vegan
2011-05-25 10:22 pm (UTC)
You know that Bloomington and its Tornado Weather loves you!
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[User Picture]From: tendertalons
2011-08-01 09:49 pm (UTC)
YAY! can't wait to get back there!!! xo
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[User Picture]From: cease_to_begin
2011-05-26 02:49 am (UTC)
sending good thoughts.
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[User Picture]From: tendertalons
2011-08-01 09:49 pm (UTC)
*hugs!* thanks, lovely. :)
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[User Picture]From: kurtmorris
2011-05-26 11:06 am (UTC)
I don't know exactly what you're talking about as far as your illness, but what I do know is that for as long as I have known you, you have demonstrated a great sense of resiliency and a wonderfully positive attitude that certainly seems to get you through what might otherwise be some very tough times. It's a very admirable trait, Erin, and you always seem to handle things as well as can be expected. I am sure you will continue to do well and even if you do feel overwhelmed and weighted down, you have some great friends (and from what you have said, family, too) that are here for you.
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[User Picture]From: tendertalons
2011-08-01 09:50 pm (UTC)
kurtmorris, you always make me feel like about a billion buckaroos! i'm trying to maintain my levity, but it is damn HARD sometimes.
i miss you. was thinking today about the last time i saw you. i sure could use a beer and a chat. and a km-style hug.
xo
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[User Picture]From: kurtmorris
2011-08-02 02:40 am (UTC)
I do what I can, Erin. :-)
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[User Picture]From: tendertalons
2011-08-02 05:22 am (UTC)
you do a good job, darlin'. :)
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[User Picture]From: cheshire_girl
2011-06-02 03:00 pm (UTC)
OH goodness, I'm way behind in this game. Happy thoughts and love from VA, lady. Hope all went as well as possible!
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[User Picture]From: tendertalons
2011-08-01 09:51 pm (UTC)
thanks, mama! <3 i hope VA is treating you RIGHT, as it should be. xoxoox
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